What to do when you're terrified of surgery?

[Teri]

I need help. Or advice. Or wisdom.

My doctors are recommending that I have a procedure. It has a high rate of success but carries significant risk, too.

I am terrified to have this, or any procedures or surgeries, done. I have researched the heck out of it, read everything I could find, but how can I know what the outcome will be?

I thought I researched PRK. I thought I did my homework beforehand, but I had no idea I could develop dry eyes or what that even meant. I could have asked the surgeon about it, but I didn't even know what questions to ask. Everything I read about dry eyes before said that it was temporary, "annoying," and easily treated with artificial tears.

How do I know that the same thing won't happen again? That I'll have this procedure and have a bad outcome. That the "problem" will be cured but I'll end up with a permanent "complication" that will be debilitating.

How do I know that I'm making a logical decision and not a decision out of desperation or because it's what everyone is telling me to do?

I hope I'm making sense. I'm sorry for being so cryptic.
Teri

[Lucy]

Teri, you mention a surgical procedure, but do not say what it is. We're left wondering--it could be anything from an appendectomy to more eye surgery. Can you help us out there? If you're speaking of more refractive surgery or a "touch up" of the PRK, you should be wary.

Please let us know what you're facing and perhaps some of us have experience with what you're dealing with. This board is excellent for searching out possible procedures, the good and bad points with each. Please take it easy on yourself and know that you don't need to have any "procedure" right away unless it's to save your life.

Many of us thought we researched PRK, Lasik and so forth. I didn't expect my outcome, just as you didn't expect yours. Hopefully, you'll be ok with some time and extra care. Lucy

[kitty]

I am the biggest baby when it comes to surgery. Everything, even getting my wisdom teeth carved out scares me. Everything carries risks. Do your research. What is the percentage chance that you will be better off after than you were before? In my book, any number greater than 70% is good enough odds for me to undergo the procedure. As yourself what your own benchmark number is? What will your quality of life be like if you don't have the procedure? Try to think 30 years out and not just 30 days out. It's a matter of weighing risk vs benefit.

[Teri]

I'm sorry for being so cryptic. I am terrified of telling anyone about this procedure because it sounds so extreme. Barbaric, even.

My doctors want me to have ECT (Electro-Convulsive Therapy) to treat my depression.

I've tried eight anti-depressants so far, and none of them have worked. I've had no improvement in my mood and most of them dry the heck out of my eyes and I can't tolerate them.

Now here's a procedure that is, according to all the literature, a very effective treatment for depression, one that won't do anything at all to my eyes and one that will work quickly.

And yet, the risks of cognitive side effects is high. It is virtually guaranteed that I will have some kind of memory problems after the procedure. And the way the journal papers talk about the memory problems sounds almost exactly like how the surgeons talk about post-lasik dry eyes. That it's mild, temporary, that most patients consider it a worthwhile trade-off.

And I've read some fairly scary posts on other websites from people who have had ECT (usually against their will some years ago) and hate it. And I dismissed their accounts because they sounded so hysterical. And, after all, these people all had some mental problems, right? Can you believe anything they write?

But this is how people treat us, and it's wrong.

So, what are the risks vs. benefits? What will my quality of life be if I don't do this? The reality is that this procedure is to save my life. I feel that my depression is a terminal disease. I've spent the last 1.5+ years in a severe depressive state where I can't work, can hardly function. A good day for me is one where I can meet a friend for lunch or send some encouraging messages to people here. A bad day is one where I don't get out of bed, cry all day, and fantasize about killing myself.

The latest anti-depressant has made my eyes so dry that I fear I'll start having erosions again. They hurt constantly, and I really thought that was behind me. And I'm filled with despair when I realize that I'm even considering ECT. Like, how did I get here?

I have a consultation tomorrow with the doctor who would perform the ECT. I have a lot of questions for him, but, really, how am I supposed to make this decision?

[dianat]

Teri,

I have a friend who had experienced this therapy. I have sent an email message off just now and will let you know what I hear back. Perhaps you can correspond...

Diana

[Lucy]

Teri, my heart goes out to you. I'm not going to post a reply on the board, but may send you a PM. This is a very personal and hard decision! Controversial too, I imagine.

This might be a good time for people to use the PM feature if they have any information for you. Perhaps someone here has had the therapy and can give you their opinion. Lucy

[mary kenny badami]

Oh, Teri, thank you for clarifying what you were referring to.
I have no help, no advice, no wisdom to offer on this specific procedure.
Perhaps others have knowledge and will post.
(Or, as Lucy prudently suggests for reasons of privacy, PM you -- so Teri, remember to check your PMs the next time you check in, okay? )

But if good thoughts and prayers will help, I'm sure that many good thoughts and prayers are winging your way. . . however adequate (or in- ) they may be.
You've been intelligent and persistent and sensible in this quest. If sheer willpower had been the solution, you'd have licked this a long time ago.
Therefore the best I can do is to wish you a good consultation tomorrow, hoping that you will find reasons to make -- or not to make -- what I think amounts to a "leap of faith."

[kitty]

I'm sorry for being so cryptic. I am terrified of telling anyone about this procedure because it sounds so extreme. Barbaric, even.

My doctors want me to have ECT (Electro-Convulsive Therapy) to treat my depression.

I've tried eight anti-depressants so far, and none of them have worked. I've had no improvement in my mood and most of them dry the heck out of my eyes and I can't tolerate them.

Now here's a procedure that is, according to all the literature, a very effective treatment for depression, one that won't do anything at all to my eyes and one that will work quickly.

And yet, the risks of cognitive side effects is high. It is virtually guaranteed that I will have some kind of memory problems after the procedure. And the way the journal papers talk about the memory problems sounds almost exactly like how the surgeons talk about post-lasik dry eyes. That it's mild, temporary, that most patients consider it a worthwhile trade-off.

And I've read some fairly scary posts on other websites from people who have had ECT (usually against their will some years ago) and hate it. And I dismissed their accounts because they sounded so hysterical. And, after all, these people all had some mental problems, right? Can you believe anything they write?

But this is how people treat us, and it's wrong.

So, what are the risks vs. benefits? What will my quality of life be if I don't do this? The reality is that this procedure is to save my life. I feel that my depression is a terminal disease. I've spent the last 1.5+ years in a severe depressive state where I can't work, can hardly function. A good day for me is one where I can meet a friend for lunch or send some encouraging messages to people here. A bad day is one where I don't get out of bed, cry all day, and fantasize about killing myself.

The latest anti-depressant has made my eyes so dry that I fear I'll start having erosions again. They hurt constantly, and I really thought that was behind me. And I'm filled with despair when I realize that I'm even considering ECT. Like, how did I get here?

I have a consultation tomorrow with the doctor who would perform the ECT. I have a lot of questions for him, but, really, how am I supposed to make this decision?

Write down all of your questions and ask all of them. ECT these days is done with informed consent and in a controlled environment. I have not heard of long lasting effects from it as far as cognitive function goes. I have heard of good results. It is your body, you are the only one that can make the decision.